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...or something. What else do you call it when grown up people use phrases like "Where my clothes at?" and "i wanna get my pants alternated."



Alternated? It's ALTERED.



We have a marquee outside that advertises the various services we offer. One line says "Tailoring and Alterations." At LEAST twice a week we get some man wandering in wanting to find out about....ALTERNATORS. For your CAR. And we have to explain that alterations is something to do with the sewing department...and they go beet red.



Honestly. Sheesh.

COMMENTS

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Bones
00:59 Sep 30 2010

Laziness.

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Requiem
01:35 Sep 30 2010

Seriously, though ... Consider the appearance, usage and results of an alternator made specifically for pants,

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xxBlueFairyxx
02:10 Sep 30 2010

You should hear the people who come in and yell at me I can't get on my Yayhoo. when It is Yahoo. So I hear ya.

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RedQueen
02:42 Sep 30 2010

I once had a woman ask my dad where the EX-rocks (yes, just like that) machine was...



Need I spell Xerox?



Hooked on fonics werked fer me....

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Morrigon
03:30 Sep 30 2010

My former photographer boss hated the term: "I want to blow up this picture to an 8x10"



He'd sarcastically tell the client that he'd get the explosives prepared.

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birra
03:31 Sep 30 2010

You should start sewing alternators into the cuffs of their pants.

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POST COMMENT

Heard this joke at work today. Thought I would pass it along. We all need a good laugh every now and then!



A couple went out to a nice restaurant to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary. Midway through the meal, amidst a shower of sparkles a fairy appeared.



"For loving each other all these years, and being good to each other, I will grant each of you one wish," she said.



The wife said at once "I want to travel around the world with my wonderful husband." The fariy waved her wand, and a pair of tickets to the Queen Mary 2 appeared in the wife's hand.



Then the husband said, "Well, if I get my one wish, I want something a little different. I want a wife 30 years younger than me. That's what I want."



The fairy waved her wand. The husband became 92 years old.



Be careful what you wish for! :P

COMMENTS

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Mystic
01:18 Sep 28 2010

haha that was a good one

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POST COMMENT

Oh. My. God. If I ever wanted a rewind button on a day, this was it.



The phone was ringing at work when my boss and I got there. This is not usually a good sign. It is either someone who doesn't know our hours, which means they don't know we don't clean on Saturday and the outfit they just HAVE to have won't get done, ergo a major shit fit...or, it's the other store and THEY have a problem.



Today, we hit a third realm of crap altogether. It was an elderly woman calling, saying her daughter had brought her wedding dress to us yesterday and she wanted to know how much it would cost. We wanted to say "You need to know this at 6 am? Can you call back later?" but....she had to wait while we got the computer turned on and looked up the name....no such name. No phone number listed either. She was SURE thid was the store her daughter had taken the dress to. "It's over a hundred years old," she wailed. "You better not have lost it."



We put her on hold while we called the other store, and they had no such customer name or number either. We checked all our records, and no wedding dress had come in at either store yesterday. In fact, we hadn't had a wedding dress come in since Tuesday, and it didn't belong to this lady.



Oh, the drama. Oh the tears. Oh, the threats. "You better NOT have lost my dress! It's very costly! I'll sue you!" she screeched over the phone. My boss told her, "We are going to hang up now. I want you to phone your daughter, and see where she took the dress. It sounds like it went to our competitor, or a cleaner in the next town. We don't have it."



The lady was hysterical. After some more of this, she eventually hung up. We thought the situation would just work itself out...usually these people find their clothes at another cleaner and call back all embarrassed to apologize. About an hour later...in walks a police officer.



Yes. The bitch called the police on us.



He was very embarrassed, because he KNEW what this was about, but he said the woman wanted to press charges for theft and he had to come investigate. After we explained things to him, I handed him the piece of paper I had written the lady's daughter's name and phone number on. "Here," I said, "something tells me she holds the key to this problem."



So the officer phoned her...woke her up too, heh heh. Turns out she still had the dress in her house...she hadn't taken it anywhere! She said she had told her mother she would take the dress in Monday....this woman was SO upset that her mother called the police on us. She apologized her ass off, and said she would settle things with her mother.



Well, honestly. Ain't that the American way these days....sue someone, or set the law on them, before the situation is even sorted out? And it's always assumed the dry cleaner has lost or ruined the garment, sometimes we don't even HAVE the damn thing!



After things calmed down my boss said "When that dress comes in, it gets paid up front in total, and I want a signed release form, which I will make a copy of, for her to take to her mother, to prove we have it, and that it is paid for."



The lady was supposed to get her mother to call us and say she was sorry....but of course she never did.



I desperately needed some retail therapy after that, so as soon as work was done I lit out for Shopko and found what I'd been looking for for ages...a good sturdy purse and a couple new bras...gotta keep the girls up and perky!



If anyone knows some effective de-stressing coping mechanisms, please let me know. The stuff just seems to go on and on and on, and I need to find a way to cope with it better than I have. I take things home with me and it makes me crazy.

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PAGAN
22:36 Sep 25 2010

My favourite de-stresser is to curl up with a good book, plenty of good chocolate and coffee, with a blanket round my feet til I lose myself in the story, it works every time.

[On the odd occasion, I do have to scream LOUDLY, and kick a wall though ]

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xxBlueFairyxx
22:58 Sep 25 2010

I take a long hot bubble bath. I work cable company and the crazies we get in there , I soo understand where your coming from.

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Isis101
23:09 Sep 25 2010

OMG...I laughed and cringed at this one.

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RedQueen
05:17 Sep 26 2010

Sex and alcohol...lol

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Requiem
17:09 Sep 26 2010

Seriously, a combination of the above should be good. I normally hit the gym and abuse myself for a bit, then the hot shower followed by bubbles in a tub. =) And a damned good book.

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Vampirewitch39
23:38 Sep 27 2010

Three letters--- R U M

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sahahria
14:34 Sep 28 2010

Go get a Massage from a professional therapist... will help the body physically release what is building up!

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PandorasBx
21:44 Sep 28 2010

Wow, go to her house and punch her lights out! LOL JK or am I?



Bubble bath, candles, chardonnay, chocolate covered strawberries, then pour all of the above over a sexy man and enjoy ;)

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POST COMMENT

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.

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Requiem
04:16 Sep 25 2010

Amen and amen! =)



I had a giggle today. The saga of my roof, yada yada. Anyhow, one of the three companies I originally called to get a quote for my roof - that never called me back, in what, 2 1/2 weeks? Called me today. "You need someone to fix your roof?" ... "Well, no, when no one there wanted my money I found someone who did." *click* =)

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Isis101
23:11 Sep 25 2010

...and get struck by a lightning bolt.

I'm not very cheery.

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POST COMMENT

Just heard that the Naked Chef himself, Jamie Oliver, and his wife Jools, now have a little Naked Chef of their own...after 3 daughters, they now have a son.



Buddy Bear Maurice joins his sisters Poppy Honey Rosie, Daisy Boo Pamela, and Petal Blossom Rainbow.

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PandorasBx
03:48 Sep 25 2010

Those poor children....

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Isis101
23:11 Sep 25 2010

They all sound like candy.

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PhoenicianDream
18:55 Sep 26 2010

Damn hippies.



Hahaha

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POST COMMENT

I am completely and totally knackered. I bet I got more exercise today than guys training for the track team. I once checked my mileage and on a busy Monday I can do 6 miles at work. Today, I added to that.



We got a new account at the high school...the swim team wanted their towels cleaned on a daily basis. We discussed this with the swim coach, and he said he would leave the bag with the dirty towels outside the door that leads to the pool. It opens onto the parking lot, so all we would do would be drive up, grab the dirty towels, leave clean ones, and go.



In theory, that would work great. But.



I go to the assigned place with a 30 pound bag of clean towels. There are no dirty towels where they should be. There is nothing but a locked door. I looked around, and there was no one wandering by that I could ask, so I had to walk all the way round to the front of the school, go in and ask one of the lovely ladies at the front desk to page the swim coach.



They looked at me. "He doesn't come in till 9 today," I was told. Well, hell. It was now 7:30, I had been messing around there almost a half hour, and I was going to be behind in my work at the cleaners besides. Just then a guy wandered by and said if I would go back to that outside door he would put the towels out for me. So. Back around the building I walk toting the 30 pound bag of towels. This is a big school. It's a long way round the back.



I get there and....no dirty towels. I wait, and wait...15 minutes. Nothing. Back round to the front I go. The ladies look up, see my gargoyle face, and start paging the guy who had told me to go round the back. He doesn't answer the page. The ladies suggested if I go back to the door and wait, they would get someone to put the towels out for me.



"Listen," I said. "I am NOT going back out there for a third time and wait and wait. I was given a time and place to pick up and drop off. The towels were not where they were supposed to be. I am tired of being kept waiting. Can you PLEASE get someone to bring me the towels, or I will have to leave."



Much flurry of activity. Eventually a bag of dirty towels is brought to me, and I hand off the clean ones. Scurrying back to the cleaners, I see my boss' face when I get there and it's a picture. As soon as I had left the school, the swim coach arrived....annoyed that I hadn't gone to the back door to collect the dirty towels, instead going in the front and asking someone to bring them to me. My boss had checked the time and figured I had been kept waiting, and ticked the swim coach off for not keeping his part of the bargain.



His lame ass response? "The towels were supposed to have been there. If she weren't in such a hurry they would have been put by the back door."



In a hurry? You tell me to be there at a certain time and I end up chasing my tail for almost 45 minutes? Asshole. Hope you get crabs. The kind that bite your crotch real good.

COMMENTS

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PandorasBx
01:57 Sep 24 2010

What a prick...

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xxBlueFairyxx
02:16 Sep 24 2010

Shot I hope he gets more than crabs, what a SOB. He needs some salt peter.

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RedQueen
06:11 Sep 24 2010

poor baby...



*plops you down in an overstuffed chair and hands you a cuppa tea and a biscuit*



When you finish that, do some cross stitch...just watch where you put that needle...lol

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POST COMMENT

I got it. I just don't know what to do with it.

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LadyKrystalynDarkstar
04:47 Sep 23 2010

Erm... ok?

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BLOODLIFE
08:36 Sep 23 2010

Yep, you've got it alright.

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Fale
11:20 Sep 23 2010

My fingers smell like tuna :

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ladySnowStrixx
19:31 Sep 23 2010

MMM? you have three opinions :



1:drown it



2: bury it



3: ignore it and hope it will go away.

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RedQueen
22:54 Sep 23 2010

Or, as us southerners would say:



Hunt it, stuff it or marry it...lol

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POST COMMENT

I think I had the work event to end all work events today. I don't think anyone could ever top this. I don't think anyone would want to.



It started innocently enough. A businessman came in and said he was on his way to a meeting and had just stepped on the hem of his pants, and tore his cuff. Could we tack it back up quickly? The seamstress came over, took a look and told him ok, get in the dressing room and toss the pants out. He can wait in there and it won't take a minute to tack the hem back up. She had a bridal party coming in to be fitted for their dresses, but they weren't due for a few minutes, so she could squeeze this guy in.



So he goes into the dressing room and tosses his pants out. All of a sudden we hear this weird sound...like...liquid....then came the SMELL. I looked at the seamstress and she tore into the dressing room and screeched "Oh, you son of a bitch!"



This guy had had diarrhea....ALL OVER THE PLACE. Carpet, walls, even the fucking ceiling. He said "I thought there was a bathroom in here!" His undershorts down around his ankles. The seamstress was so mad, she yanked him out of there and shoved him into the bathroom...he had to go past two customers who I'm sure wondered what the hell was going on.



The stench was horrendous. My boss came up and took a quick look....then went to make some phone calls. We had to find some way to clean that all up. Then....in walks the bridal party.



Yes folks. They looked around, smelled the poop, and I swear to god, one of them poked the other and said "Did you fart?" My one laugh of the day. We had to re organize the fitting room for the morning while the poop was cleaned up. My boss found someone who came over within an hour, and two hours later had the carpet steam cleaned, the walls cleaned and painted, and replaced the curtains in the stall too.



The guy? Oh we gave him his pants back and shoved him out the door. He never even said sorry. Just kept repeating "I thought there was a bathroom in there!"



Geez. What a day.

COMMENTS

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LadyKrystalynDarkstar
00:51 Sep 22 2010

WHAT???????? how could he think it was a bathroom?? How old was he? was he senile??? I don't understand that one at all unless he planned it that way. Do you honestly think he thought it was a bathroom? What was he shitting into......obviously nothing if it got all over the ceiling too..... which I cannot even fathom....... how did that happen???





Did you fart?



LMFAO

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KattrinaK
01:06 Sep 22 2010

wow..just...wow.



truth is stranger (and way more horrifying, i'm gathering) than fiction!



yikes!



: O

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PandorasBx
01:19 Sep 22 2010

*gags* Thats all I've got lol

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RedQueen
02:09 Sep 22 2010

I can come close....



Working at the Hilton, and some business man decides to call out for a hooker. He meets her in the lobby, they disappear for several hours, he brings her down to the pantry (we stocked chips, popcorn, candy bars, etc.) and bought her dinner. Back up stairs they went, and a few hours later he is telling the guy at the front desk to call an ambulance, his friend was sick.



Yeah...He had decided he wanted anal, she objected, and there was shit, vomit and blood everywhere

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BubbleGumClaudia
02:17 Sep 22 2010

If you have to shit that badly......ask where the hell the bathroom is?! What a dumb ass

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KattrinaK
02:51 Sep 22 2010

I linked to this in my Journal.





Just incredulous about how a "Businessman" who is supposed to be revered in the community as a man of means/power/influence...that would willingly walk into a changing room, SEE that it is a changing room, and still drop trou and do THAT..



*shakes head*

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Requiem
12:27 Sep 22 2010

Oh. Fuck.



that's awful!

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JustinV
15:40 Sep 22 2010

You made that up. Please, PLEASE tell me you made that up!

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PhoenicianDream
20:35 Sep 23 2010

How exactly does one achieve shitting on the ceiling???



O.o I don't think I could shit on a ceiling on my best day, even if I tried.

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Isis101
23:14 Sep 25 2010

THIS INDEED WAS THE MOST HILARIOUS AND DISTURBING ENTRY EVER...!!!



And something tells me that poo-poo boy got off on shitting all over the place...

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POST COMMENT

Would you let your 16 year old daughter go to another state, on a school night, to attend a pro football game? This is my boss' dilemma...his daughter really wants to go to the Packers/Bears game next Monday night in Chicago. Her boyfriend, 17, would be driving.



Niether have experience driving in a big city, and niether have been to Soldier Field before. They probably won't be home till really late and they both have school the next day.



Oh, and did I mention she wants to hit daddy up for spending money for the game? "At least $200," she says.



Me? I would not let two underage kids go alone. I don't know why my boss is so afraid to say no. After all, one doesn't get everything one wants in this life. There will be other games, on weekends, when there isn't school in the mornings. Or am I being an old fart?

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Bijou
02:21 Sep 21 2010

If at least TWO adults were going with them, and I knew the adults rather well, and yes the game better be on a weekday. your boss needs to be reminded who the adult is here. she is, and as for the 200 spending money, that;s a bit much for a 16yr to be carring around in a major city. I'm in agreement with you CM.

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Bijou
02:22 Sep 21 2010

opps i ment weekend*

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DestroyingAngel
04:31 Sep 21 2010

Absolutley not! Wtf, she's 16 years old...

Time for this dude to man up....and wtf is up with the whole, "at least 200 dollars" BS. My parents woulda slapped the chap right off my lips for that one lol.

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LadyKrystalynDarkstar
05:46 Sep 21 2010

I would only allow her to go if an adult over the age of 21 was going with them. I say 21 because the older the wiser in my opinion. Not trying to be rude to anyone here. But since that doesn't seem to be the case with them, I'd say no she can't go. At all. NEVERMIND about 200 bucks. That's crazy in and of itself.

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Requiem
12:25 Sep 21 2010

Not being an old fart.



Umm, he could say yes and drive them.



1) Built in chaperone

2) No extra staying late for stuff

3) Control daughter's spending



4) Or he could say no, it's a school night, stuff it.

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JustinV
15:40 Sep 21 2010

My 19 year old wouldn't DREAM of asking for $200 for a single night!!! He also wouldn't DREAM of going off on an excursion like that on a school night.

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PhoenicianDream
20:33 Sep 21 2010

Uh hell no. My parents would have laughed at me if I had ever asked a question like that.

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chrysanthemia
23:23 Sep 22 2010

Why isn't this chick working??



For crying out loud, my parents have actually asked me to borrow $200. Up to $700, actually. And I have it. And money for myself. Because I had a job.



It's like that song. . . . You can rely on the old man's money. . . .

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POST COMMENT

I subscribe to a monthly British magazine, and as a bonus they send me an issue of their Hello! magazine along with my other issue.



This month's issue just came. There is an ad for McDonald's which reads as follows:



"We don't know how to pap a wag....but we can make a brilliant burger."



Um....WHAT? Is that a typo? Or if not...what is a wag, and how does one pap it?



Geez. I thought I spoke english! :P

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BLOODLIFE
23:31 Sep 19 2010

lol, a wag is a wife of a celeb ..... a pap is a photographer who snaps them (paparazzi). That all said reading 'Hello' mag is not and never will promote English!!

If you want something sent, message me ;-)

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PandorasBx
00:09 Sep 20 2010

O.o

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Requiem
00:29 Sep 20 2010

I so thought that was talking about giving a pap smear to a dog.

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MyBloodyKisses
08:01 Sep 20 2010

A wag over here seems to be the chosen occupation of young women who don't actually want to work but go shopping with their high earning boyfriends credit cards.

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PhoenicianDream
20:30 Sep 23 2010

How exactly does one achieve shitting on the ceiling??? O.o



I don't think I could shit on a ceiling on my best day, even if I tried.

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PhoenicianDream
20:34 Sep 23 2010

Wow, wrong entry! Ha! Oops! I'll just put that comment where it belongs.

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POST COMMENT

I HATE Fridays at work. People lose their tiny little minds and leave things for the last minute and expect to be accommodated in a few seconds.



Started out with one of the hotels we service calling us after the cut off time saying they had a guest who needed his laundry done. Well, gee. By the time we stop what we are doing, run way over there, get the stuff, see what it all is, and come back...there goes about an hour of the day. And he was two hours late besides. Turned out all he had was some underwear (smeared with skid marks, no doubt)....dude, wash that out in the sink! We are not driving way across the interstate for a pair of undies and a pair of socks.



Well. Then we get Miss Thang customer who sashays in and announces "I am on my way to the airport. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. I need a zipper put in my dress."



The seamstress promptly started giggling her ass off. "Honey, the nearest airport is over an hour from here. You better hustle if your flight leaves in 30 minutes!" she told the lady. "There is NO way to get a zipper in a dress that fast. Not unless the dress belongs to Barbie."



The lady fussed and fumed, then decided to be insulting. "Well, I THOUGHT this was a service business. If you can't provide a service, you might as well close your doors." My boss took her arm and showed her where the door was. We don't let those dumbasses stay long.



Then we get a guy at the drive up window, he'd never been to us before, and he first tells us how much he paid for his leather jacket. (Why do people do that? Is that supposed to make us go "Gawrsh, mister, we'd be honored to clean your expensive item!") We do dozens of leather coats a week. And they all come out great. The only thing is....we require either a full payment in advance or at least half down. Otherwise, they sit and sit and sit on the conveyor and the customer doesn't want to pick them up.



This guy had a shit fit. "WHAT! Why they hell do you do that....I never heard of anything like that. That is a rip off. What if you lose my jacket or ruin it? What happens then?"



I told him the pre payment was a store policy and had been for a long long time. We also ask for pre payment on wedding dresses and other specialty items. The other cleaners in the area do the same. This guy didn't know that. And of course you can't explain things to them because they are all pissed off and ranting.



In the middle of his spiel I just closed the window. "We're done here," I said and started to back away. "NO we're not, you get your ass back here!" This guy started to bang on the window and I could see it shaking in its frame. We've already had the window broken twice by dumbass people who push their clothes right through the screen.



My boss popped up out of no where and told this guy that if he didn't leave we would call the police. And, just like that, right behind him pulls a cop car. Officer Steve had been right around the corner and heard the guy shouting.



"Sir," he told the guy calmly, "if you don't like the rules of this business, just leave. You don't insult people or try to damage their store. If you contiune I will have to cite you for disorderly conduct."



Well. THAT set the guy off big time. Remember, this is in the drive up lane. Other people are trying to pull in and get their clothes. I trot out to get their orders and then I see the officer take the guy down to the pavement and cuff him...wow straight out of Cops! Guy gets put into the squad car shouting "I'm gonna get you for this" and various other juvenile penis-enlargement statements.



The officer ends up moving the guys car around the corner to the parking area, then takes mr big mouth away to get booked.



Honestly, such shit. People really don't know how to behave anymore. I'm glad I have the rest of the weekend off!

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LadyKrystalynDarkstar
02:23 Sep 18 2010

YOU need to write a book of this shit!!! I am telling you this is totally hysterical!!!!

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Requiem
21:17 Sep 18 2010

o_O Holy crap.

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RedQueen
00:22 Sep 19 2010

SO nice to know I have a cohort in crime here...lol



I swear, you, me and VW39 need to collaborate on that there book...lol

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POST COMMENT

Woot! I won a radio contest this morning. The oldies channel was doing trivia, and at 8 am I didn't imagine a lot of people were listening lol...most were either in school or at work or tuned in to some other station.



Anyways, here was the music trivia question. It's a multi-part. Name the musician who had several huge hits in the 1970's, who also wrote the theme for a popular TV series, who wrote a top ten song for 3 Dog Night, and who sang the theme to an Oscar-winning movie?



They wanted the name of the musician, one of his biggest hits, the name of the series and the name of the movie. I got em all.



Ok, now you guess, and I will tell you who it is in a bit.



Oh, what did I win? A value meal from McDonald's and a smoothie. My boss will love that!

COMMENTS

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birra
00:58 Sep 17 2010

Randy Newman?



Do I have to guess all the other parts too? This is pretty much a stab in the dark, only because I know he wrote "Mama Told Me Not To Come," which was a hit song for 3 Dog Night and I know he has done more back-end work on TV and Film scores than any of his own commercial recording.

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HAWK2K
01:36 Sep 17 2010

I'm surprised that you and Birra knew all that.....



I guessing you both don't watch porn?

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CarnelianMyst
01:39 Sep 17 2010

Bow chicka wow-wow.

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BLOODLIFE
09:51 Sep 17 2010

It's nice to win at any sort of quiz no matter the prize, very well done you.

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Vampirewitch39
14:17 Sep 17 2010

To known that you should of gotten stock in the freaking McD's. lol



Way to go sis! And to birra for knowing some of it.



:D

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RedQueen
22:28 Sep 17 2010

The movie was Toy Story and Monsters, Inc.



The show I believe was Monk

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CarnelianMyst
01:26 Sep 18 2010

It's not Randy Newman. This gentleman is sadly deceased.

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PAGAN
09:02 Sep 18 2010

Leo Sayer?



Biggest hit - When I need you



1977/78 (ish?) he had a prime time TV show in UK



3 Dog Night - The show must go on



Charlies Angels - You make me feel like dancing

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PAGAN
09:05 Sep 18 2010

gah Leo Sayer aint deceased.

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RedQueen
23:28 Sep 19 2010

No, but Harry Nilsson is. And since I managed to get the answer after much prompting from CM, I gets da cookie...lol

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POST COMMENT

I finally got "Barbie Girl" out of my head. Replaced it with...Tubthumping by Chumbawumba. You know, the one that goes...



"I get knocked down, but I get up again

No one's ever gonna get me down

I get knocked down".....



Now I can't get THAT song out of my head. Grr.

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Vampirewitch39
00:53 Sep 16 2010

lol Remember the Chicken Dance? You could have that in your head...over and over and over. :)

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Requiem
01:56 Sep 16 2010

He drinks a whisky drink

He drinks a vodka drink

He drinks a lager drink

He drinks a cider drink







Ahahahah ysy! ♥

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Requiem
01:57 Sep 16 2010

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Requiem
02:02 Sep 16 2010

Crap! It wouldn't embed. I tried to be evil and failed. *sigh*

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PAGAN
06:36 Sep 16 2010

Gah...Im a barbie girl...I get knocked down... push pineapple shake a tree...arrrrrrrrrgh! now I have ALL these going round and round and round...and round in my head...

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atyourwindow
07:37 Sep 16 2010

better than having that old hadaway song "what is love?" stuck in your head lol

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DestroyingAngel
09:25 Sep 16 2010

OMG....Im so sorry lol.

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JustinV
18:55 Sep 16 2010

Here, maybe this will help. Listen to THIS:

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JustinV
18:56 Sep 16 2010

Opps - forgot the link.

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POST COMMENT

The dj on the radio station we listen to at work was discussing a list of the 100 worst songs of all time that was on some website, and of course he was playing bits of those songs. Damn if he didn't play "Barbie Girl" by Aqua, and I can't get that out of my head now!



That happened once before and it was stuck in there for days. My boss suggested humming Christmas carols...that hasn't worked so far. Maybe some Justin Bieber? :P

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Requiem
02:21 Sep 15 2010

You evil little minx. Barbie Girl is now stuck in MY head.



If I have dreams about that song, I am going to find a truly wretched and catchy tune and inflict it upon you.



:P I promise.

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Bijou
03:56 Sep 15 2010

lol...i know i'm going to catch hell for this but , i love that song. I was in highschool when it came out lol.

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HAWK2K
10:06 Sep 15 2010

I'll take "Barbie Girl" over anything from Justin Bieber....



unless it's the sound of Justin Beiber gargling up his blood after eating some ground glass....



ahhhhhh.... just imaging it puts a smile on my face.

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POST COMMENT

I wish I were more like you.

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Bellanova333
03:24 Sep 14 2010

I wish I was more like me too o.O

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Morrigon
03:54 Sep 14 2010

I'm glad you're perfectly you.

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birra
03:59 Sep 14 2010

You being you is what all the rest of us need. Just be the best you that you can be.

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Vampirewitch39
05:23 Sep 14 2010

But then who would you be? Ain't nothing wrong so why change you? :)

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Fale
08:56 Sep 14 2010

Everybody kind of wants to be a little bit more like me ... Its the natural order of things!

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RedQueen
22:10 Sep 14 2010

Nah you don't-you have way more style than me...lol

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POST COMMENT

From a journal....



"I'm a little bit of streat"



You need a little bit of spellcheck too.

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Bijou
23:55 Sep 12 2010

omg I just came across this journal. Spell/grammer check every computer has this feature now.

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Oceanne
00:16 Sep 13 2010

huh? wha? ...what is a streat?Never heard that word before.

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ThothLestat
01:44 Sep 13 2010

nobody nkow!



no one ever will.

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chrysanthemia
01:58 Sep 13 2010

I saw that!



Spelling mistakes aside. I had no idea what was happening there.

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Zerah
02:19 Sep 13 2010

LMFAO!! This made me snort!

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thanatoswhisper
02:40 Sep 14 2010

I am little bit of a streaker too! Oh wait, streat........ huh?

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CarnelianMyst
03:08 Sep 14 2010

He meant "straight" as in heterosexual. But I keep thinking "I'm a little bit country...I'm a little bit rock n roll!"

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POST COMMENT

Our seamstress has a sign up in her fitting area: "CHILDREN MUST BE KEPT ON A LEASH." She means business. There have been a number of accidents and damages due to kids running wild while their parents are in the dressing room.



Today we had a near miss and a damn nasty incident. A mother came in with her 3 year old boy, wanting to be fitted for a formal gown. As it happened, the seamstress had just dropped by to pick up some supplies (she normally doesn't work Saturdays unless it's appointment only) so the woman was ushered into the alteration area, and I kept an eye on the kid.



I had to wait on some customers, and for the 30 seconds or so I had my back turned, he grabbed up the seamstress' sharpest pair of scissors off her bench and was hacking around with them. We once had a little girl do that, and the mother screamed at her to put them down, well that startled her and she dropped them....pointy edge down, right into the top of one of her feet. Blood everywhere and screaming...ack.



I didn't yell, I just strode over, grabbed the scissors out of the kids' hand and ordered him sternly to sit. The mother poked her head out of the fitting room and said "If you don't sit your ass down I will whip it till you CAN"T sit down!"



Down he sat. For about a minute.



Hanging up to one side was something that caught his beady little eye...an almost-finished wedding gown. Our seamstress was hand-beading and hand lacing this confection, and was just finishing the trim around the bottom. In a flash, this kid reached his chubby little hand up, and yanked on one of the loops of tiny pearlized beads. It broke, seed beads and pearls went everywhere. I thought WW3 was going to erupt.



The mother tore out of the fitting room, grabbed the kid, and in front of everyone turned him upside down, yanked down his pants, and paddled his ass good and hard. Kid was screaming and she was screaming right back at him. Meantime, the seamstress and I were trying to salvage the dress. It turned out only one small loop had broken, it could be re-done, but his dirty little hand prints were all over the bottom of the dress where he had scrunched it. My boss would have to spot clean that before we could re-string the beads.



The lady was told she would have to pay the cost of buying and re-attaching new beads and pearls. That kid had a morning he won't forget any time soon. He cried so hard he got the hiccups, and I bet he pooped his pants too.



After they left, the seamstress turned to me. "I need a new sign," she said."Children Must Be Kept Caged."

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LadyKrystalynDarkstar
00:27 Sep 12 2010

LMFAO I don't blame your seamstress AT ALL!!!

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Bijou
00:50 Sep 12 2010

LMao....it's funny, but annoying at the same time...people should really find sitters for young children when they have to do things like this. although props to the mom for spanking the child so many people today don't discipline thier children...and then they wind up with out of control teens. I bet the seamstress will call ahead the next time she needs to pick up supplies.

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MyArmyLife
01:04 Sep 12 2010

Go, Mom! Whoop that little ass! *laughs*

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PandorasBx
05:56 Sep 12 2010

A child that age would of went into the room with me...lil' monster lol

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BLOODLIFE
09:24 Sep 12 2010

Don't you guys get chloroform out there!?!! I do know you get guns!

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Nedra
14:52 Sep 12 2010

Frankly I am disgusted at the behavior of this mother. First off who the hell brings a 3 year old to a gown fitting?? I am sure that if she could afford to have a gown made then she could afford a dam babysitter.

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JustinV
17:32 Sep 12 2010

Ok, what makes me laugh about this story is that my mother never once spanked me. She had much more effective ways of keeping me in line - the fine and lost art of The Look, the kind that would turn Medusa to stone. Whatever happened to that kind of parenting?

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PAGAN
19:16 Sep 12 2010

Im with Justin on this, my mum still has the 'stare', more importantly, the mother here should have had her child with her in the fitting room.



Cages are needed though, the kids are out of control...

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Bellanova333
00:15 Sep 13 2010

This is why I am a firm believer in duct tape (:

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Morrigon
03:56 Sep 14 2010

When in doubt about raising your child, beat them.

Holy cow.

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POST COMMENT

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Each of those journals is handcrafted and looks like a piece of art! They are a bit pricey but if you want to do your journal up right and have a bit of a historical/medieval/gothic look to it...this is the place to get it from. I see three I want!

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Oceanne
02:28 Sep 02 2010

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imagesinwords
02:34 Sep 02 2010

So awesome!

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LadyDarkRayne
02:36 Sep 02 2010

those are beautiful - adds one to her Gift List I will point the oleman in this direction lol thanks !

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imagesinwords
02:44 Sep 02 2010

I had to post that link on Facebook :)

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Isis101
03:30 Sep 02 2010

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I used to keep a journal for over twenty years - made most of 'em. I'm too lazy now, and my life is now a bore. What journal writing I do now is here - lol!

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PhoenicianDream
05:33 Sep 02 2010

Great site! Thanks for sharing!

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atyourwindow
06:14 Sep 02 2010

very cool!

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POST COMMENT

Customers...dang they can be some rude muhfuggahs when they think they can get away with it. Guy came in this morning with a pair of shoes, the stitching had come udone around the base and he wanted it re-stitched. I told him I could do it right away if he wanted to wait a couple minutes. Usually customers love this and hand over their shoes right away.



Not this nutjob. He grabbed the shoes back and said "what do you mean YOU can do it...the OWNER does it...now you go get your Boss and tell him I want to see him right away!"



My boss was right at my feet where the customer couldn't see him. A shelf had come down in the front desk and he was fixing it. My boss started giggling and I almost kicked him to shush him up. I said "Sir, I do most of the small repairs now with the shoes to give my boss a break. I can have that fixed for you in about ten minutes."



He shrieked "NO! You just march your little ass back there and get the guy who knows what the fuck he is talking about."



My boss popped up then and scared the guy AND me. "You just lost your repair, mister," he told the guy. "No one curses at my staff. NOBODY."



The guy whined, "She lied to me! She said she did ALL the repairs and I know you do them."



My boss shook his finger. "You're the one lying. That's not what she said at all. I was right here the whole time and heard everything. Now you can just wander down to Rockford to the shoe repair there and see if they will help you."He smiled his brightest smile and said "Have a nice day."



I was holding back my laughter so much, biting my lip, I thought I would fart. The expression on that guy's face was precious.



I really love a boss that stands up for ya. Mine can be a pain in the ass sometimes, but he never lets anyone walk over me. Heh.

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Zapsu
01:23 Sep 02 2010

That's awesome.

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BlackBleedingHeart
01:28 Sep 02 2010

thats kickass i would love my boss for doing that

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PandorasBx
01:41 Sep 02 2010

Wow, you shoulda made him eat those shoes, what an ass...

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imagesinwords
02:46 Sep 02 2010

Awesome ;)

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Isis101
03:33 Sep 02 2010

Kudos to your boss!



Too bad that you couldn't take one of the guy's shoes and throw it at him - like they do in the Middle East.

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PhoenicianDream
05:40 Sep 02 2010

That was awesome!

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RedQueen
05:44 Sep 02 2010

KUDOS!!!



I know they have their moments, every boss does with bullshit now and then- but it is so nice to know when the chips are down, they got your back...

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sahahria
19:41 Sep 03 2010

Love it :)

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